Wednesday, 1 June 2011


the bitter result of a meltdown


Life for us has been playing out like a bittersweet symphony, where the drugs don't work (thanks The Verve).  Events like this morning make me question my decision to have more children.  Feeding a baby and protecting a toddler while your 8 year old destroys your house. smashes his head against various hard surfaces in between throwing objects at you, will do that.

I can't help but wonder what kind of impact living in this situation will have on their lives....
I can already see how it is affecting our eldest child as he was fighting  back tears this morning as all hell broke lose.  There's no doubting the level of stress that my other children will carry, which is no less compounded by parents who can't seem to agree on the correct way to deal with it  (is there really a correct way to 'deal' with this?)

A few days ago, I finally swallowed my pride and admitted that I am out of my depth and needed help,  only to be told that funding for this kind of thing doesn't extend to the area we live in.  Let it be said that 'my area' would hardly be considered unworthy of funding.  Lack of funding for a crisis situation?  The media has been very vocal lately regarding Autism funding, some going as far as to say that medical professionals are falsely diagnosing borderline kids in order to get funding.  Apparently the government is pouring money into Autism.
As bad as things are here, they are exhausting but do-able,.....  for  now.   Fast forward 4 or 5 years though and try to picture how  we will be travelling as a family unit then?  Not so good if things don't start to turn around.  Yesterday I was reminded of the lad who pulled a knife on his mother because he didn't want to take his meds and was subsequently shot dead by an inexperienced police officer.   A couple of years ago I could never of related to that story but now I'm not so sure.


  1. all of life is about "experience" and we are all shaped by the best, and the worst, we experience. With love, insight, tolerance - what your younger kids learn growing up with that kind of experience will be quite different to if they grow up with a "bad luck, put up with it, life sucks" attitude.

    OMG, who told you there is no funding in your suburb/area health district/??? for some respite / support?

    "someone we know" - from when he was 5 years old!

    You go to medical health for support, they call the police?

  2. I went to Aspect for a case worker in relation to behavioural support but they aren't funded to cover the southwest!

  3. At the moment, Nic, one of the most powerful things you can do is keep writing about it so people get a sense of what can happen.
    I know that doesn't change much now... but maybe somehow...

    If ASPECT aren't funded then someone else has to be. It's insane.

  4. Val: they were suppose to email me a list of alternatives today but haven't.

  5. Oh Nicole :(

    I have no words - just hugs xx

  6. I am so sorry you are feeling these very valid emotions - it is a rollercoaster. And though there are many days we love our children so fiercely that we can overcome and get through the day - some days are just too much.

    Wishing you peace.